Composite Charts: The Heart of Your Relationship

If there’s one thing everyone in the world is interested in, it’s relating to other people. It’s the foundation of life – from our parents to our lovers to our coworkers, relationships with other people are what life is made of. That’s why my most requested reading by far is the Relationship Review.

There’s a lot that goes into a whole review, but I wanted to let you in on one of my tricks of the trade: You can find the heart of a relationship by pulling up a composite chart and finding the house the Sun is in.

For this post, let’s focus on just two houses – the 1st and the 7th. That’s what astrologers call the me/we axis. The 1st house deals with the self and individual experiences, while the 7th deals with other people and relationships.

1st House

For relationships that have the Sun in the 1st, the real heart of the relationship is about each person growing as an individual. You are two trains on parallel tracks. And when one train begins to lose steam, it can drift in the slipstream of the other. This is how they both keep moving forward even when things in their own lives start to fall apart.

My own relationship has the Sun in the 1st. And it’s true, we are very much our own people. Words like “us” and “we” don’t really have a place in either of our vocabularies. He lives his life, and I support his every ambition. I live my life, and he does what he can to support my dreams. After so many years together, I can confidently say that he is constantly in the process of becoming his best self, always bolstered by my presence. And the same is true in reverse. And even when one of us has failed or fallen. The other always finds a way to pick up the slack. We’re two very independent people working toward the same goal. It may be unconventional, but for two balls of fire like us, it’s perfect.

Of course, the downside is that it can get lonely at times, especially if each person is deeply absorbed in their own projects and passions. The important thing is to purposefully build time to focus on not only each other, but on your relationship as a whole. Sometimes you have to forcibly drag yourself away from your writing (guilty!), look in your partner’s eyes, and remember that they are your other half. In essence, you have to incorporate a little of the 7th house into your life!

7th House

Relationships with the Sun in the 7th work exactly the opposite way. Instead of being two independent parts working toward a common goal, you are two parts of one unit working in tandem. You say things like “We don’t like spicy food because he gets heartburn.” Did you catch that? If one doesn’t like something, then the couple doesn’t like it. To quote a song about friendship from Bob’s Burgers, “He hates squirrels ‘cuz you hate squirrels!” And the same is true the opposite way. If one of you really loves to surf, you can best the other will go and buy a wetsuit!

You tend to present the world a united front. It’s beautiful because you’re never really alone. No matter what, you have the strength of numbers. There’s always someone to fight at your back, to help you watch your step, and to consult about your future. And it's not just about your individual future – it’s your one, shared future that you’re building.

Of course, things can always get out of hand. While wearing matching outfits and sharing an email address can be fun, you may eventually feel a little claustrophobic. No matter how happy you are, it’s normal to want a little space. In this case, you can talk to your partner and treat it like a shared adventure. For instance, you each get one evening a week to pursue a passion that is just yours. Or maybe you take one week a year to go on solo vacations. I guarantee you’ll come back refreshed and ready to jump back into your shared life. Plus you’ll have so many fun stories to tell! There’s nothing to fear from a few 1st house vibes.

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There’s no right or wrong way to structure a relationship. The right way is the one that works for the people in it. And if you even find yourself drifting too far in one direction, look to the opposite house to correct your course!

What house is your composite Sun in? What’s it like? And would you like posts about the rest of the houses?

If you want info on your specific relationship, consult with me!